Meet the Magnificent Cast of Tokyo Closet Ball

The Tokyo Closet Ball is gearing up for a wildly anticipated online drag extravaganza on Saturday August 1st! To get the latest gossip, Pangolin Piano secured top-secret interviews with some of the event's biggest stars. We got the lowdown on Die Schwarze Frau's diet (more bloody than you can possibly imagine) and uncovered the truth behind the high-profile lawsuit between Belgium Solanas and Cate Blanchett. Strap yourselves in for a wild ride!

Belgium Solanas has been a regular visitor to the Tokyo Closet Ball since 2015. We met her on her luxury houseboat, where she insisted on answering our questions in the form of smoke signals and interpretative dance. Follow her work on Vimeo and Facebook.

*On the legal advice of Sir Shelley Duvall, certain portions of this interview have been burnt.

Thanks for dropping by, Belgium! Is there anything you can tell us about your high-profile feud and court case with Cate Blanchett?

She knows what happened and that is all I will say. My defence council, Sir Shelley Duvall has advised me in writing to “Please, please stop discussing it in the media! Our case is already on tenterhooks, please give us a fighting chance, I beg of you Belgium.”

What I will say is: I suppose if one must relearn how to walk, some bitterness is to be expected, but I take ZERO blame or responsibility for the claims of crimes against nature being levelled against me. I said it to singer songwriter Carole King and author Salman Rushdie and I repeat it now to Cate: You will rue the day you crossed the line with your dark obsession with me.

Flattery is one thing, outright stealing of an identity and career is quite another. Also your American accent is beyond grating.

Rat. RAT!

Ugh, I need another martini.

Do you drink before the show to relax your nerves?

I am offended by this line of questioning. What exactly are you insinuating?

Also, has anybody seen a spoon and needle wrapped in velvet lying around here? It’s for my scurvy. And can someone PLEASE turn up that Jefferson Airplane album?

Best thing to feast on after a Closet Ball performance?

Gary Busey.

Do your friends or family support you at Closet Ball?

My support dromedary, Ayn Rand, does, very much so. However I must say that people on the subway and taxi drivers are VERY hostile towards her. Also places with glass and stairs or easily scared children or pensioners. Also high ranking members of the Japanese government.

What are your hopes and dreams for your career?

To win an Oscar for my role in Woody Allen’s “Blue Jasmine”. But I suppose THAT won’t be happening anymore. Rat. RAT!

Also to finally receive my royalties for writing Bananarama’s Love in the First Degree.

There has been talk in the tabloids about your alleged romantic connection with deceased mime Marcel Marceau. Can you confirm or deny the rumours?

I am inside a box. It has four walls.

What makes you special?

My resemblance to actresses Cate Blanchett, Lesley Ann Warren and Tony Perkins.

My sexually obsessive relationship with deceased mime Marcel Marceau.

My album “Tapestry”.

My book “The Satanic Verses”.

What do you look for in an outfit?

Spare change or caviar in the pockets, or my needle and spoon, wrapped in velvet. For my scurvy.

What do you spend the most on - shoes, clothes, accessories, perfumes, underwear?

Knives.

How many hours per day do you rehearse for Closet Ball?

16 – 29

What do you do when you're not working?

Prepare my statements for my court case with professional identity thief Cate Blanchett. Her obsession with me is BEYOND pathetic.

Tell our readers about your perfect vacation

A fire at Cate Blanchett’s 18th century farmstead, and an ostrich back on which to watch the mayhem.

Belgium Solanas, thank you so much. Good luck with the court case and we will certainly sign your petition to have your groundbreaking work in the film Blue Jasmine recognized.

Lil Sprout blew in off the breeze and planted themselves into the TCB family three years ago. Despite being fired, they keep coming back, so we decided to track them down amongst the brickabrack of their home. Follow Lil Sprout on Instagram to find out more: @sproutindrag

What inspired you to get into the entertainment industry?

People write their stories down on plants, they whisper them to the trees on the wind and sing songs to the world. But when they’re gone, and when others lose interest, it’s easy for those to be lost to time. People should remember, because the planet remembers.

Do you drink before the show to relax your nerves?

Hydration is key to any plant growth. Eggplants and zucchini especially love water in order to grow.

Actually, you know, there’s a story about a man that would constantly go out drinking and come back poor and lament and a wizard would grant his wish for money and he would go out and drink and end up poor…

Water and juice made from my brethren is the best way to go, I think.

What brands do you rely on when selecting your outfits and costumes?

I don't understand brands and I barely understand how to shoes. Most of my things are created or crafted from the finest materials people call "the dollar store" or are upcycled from local refuse centers. One person's trash is another plant's do it yourself project.

Where do you see yourself in five, fifteen, fifty years?

In five years I'd like to become a Sprout, in fifteen a Long Sprout and in fifty a Giga Sprout. Only monsters evolve that rapidly, get your mind away from there. I plan to have a metamorphosis, like I did when I was a Sproutlet.

Thank you very much, Lil Sprout, we look forward to hearing more about the story of the constantly drinking man and his wish for money.

Die Schwarze Frau has been a rotten but never forgotten steady member of TCB since 2012-2013ish. She is acclaimed for winning the ever so prestigious title Miss Closet Ball 2016 in the yearly pageant.  The infamous mother of Haus Of Schwarz performed regularly (until COVID) at the Kawaii Monster Cafe, TCB, Beauty Blenda, and at her own goth-disco and performance art event WITCHGARDEN. 

DSF was conceived by Swedish-born model/b-movie creator Yukiro Dravarious. 

Online shows and more: Facebook, Instagram (@dravarious).

Thanks for dropping by, Die Schwarze Frau! Could you start by telling us what makes your show so special?

I spit at the audience in their faces and drool blood on them. They love it! Filthy bastards!

Do you ever drink before the show to relax your nerves?

No, I drink before, during, and after my shows to get rid of all remorse!

Best thing to feast on after a Closet Ball performance?

Virginal emo-boys' blood and eye balls!

Do your friends or family support you at Closet Ball?

They all died 300 years ago!

What are your hopes and dreams for your career?

World domination and to get revenge upon humanity!

The tabloids recently linked you romantically to Hannibal Lecter, is there anything you can tell us about that?

No it was only a matter of physical exchange! NO ROMANCE!

How many hours per day do you rehearse for Closet Ball?

What is "rehearse"? I sacrifice a goat (not a real one - vegan meat only!) to Satan on a daily basis if that counts? (It does).

Do you believe in love at first sight?

NO, I only believe in HATE at first sight, and utter destructive fury!

What has been your worst ever job in this industry?

Tokyo Closet Ball... when it was at Roppongi PINK COW (Ooooo burn!!)

Tell us about your latest project

Trying to get my own event going at Kawaii monster cafe (been under production for 2 years now, but hopefully when the virus cools down...)

Joking aside...

I really love TCB and the family-like atmosphere we have; there is always an exciting mix of new blood and familiar faces. Tatianna does a great job making sure everyone feels good on and off stage! As the longest non-Japanese hosted drag show in Tokyo I'm very proud to be part of it and get the freedom to express my creativity however I want. Even when not performing, I love watching TCB because you never really know what you will get!

Thank you very much, Die Schwarze Frau, and we look forward to trying out your famed cocktail recipe for emo boy blood and eyeballs.

For a fabulous Saturday night experience on August 1st, tune into the Youtube Livestream of Tokyo Closet Ball! Die Schwarze Frau is scheduled to perform at the upcoming event; keep an eye out for future performances to witness Belgium Solanas and Lil Sprout in action.